Letter to My Younger Self

by Queen Bee on 04/11/2020

Little did you know but the moment that you met him when you were just 14 years old, you would spend so many years playing out patterns that led to unhealthy relationships. Back then all you wanted was to be loved. You allowed him to emotionally abuse you, to cheat on you, to take money from you. For years you allowed yourself to be abused by having sex with him while he didn’t even bother to kiss you. You just wanted to be loved but what you did was allow him to tear down your self esteem.

What you didn’t know back then was that nothing of it was really worth it. Over 20 years later you would hardly even remember much about him. You didn’t know back then but the me of today wishes that you wouldn’t have spent so much time on someone who clearly didn’t deserve your love or attention. You didn’t know back then but you would grow up to be very successful and you would meet him again when you were 40 and he’d still be in the same kind of lifestyle that he was back then. You probably couldn’t even imagine that 20 or 30 years later that you would be grateful that you weren’t with him and that you didn’t have a child with him ever.

In fact, when you were in the middle of being with him, you also didn’t know that he taught you so much about what isn’t good for you that although you would grow up to repeat some patterns with allowing men to disrespect you that you would eventually be grateful that you learned such valuable lessons about what you don’t want in your life in your future.

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