The Things I “Can” Control

by Queen Bee on 06/18/2013

There’s not a lot that I can control in my life lately. Over the past couple of months I have been going through a tremendous amount of stress in my life. I faced a huge loss two months ago, and every week another crisis happened as a result. Two weeks ago I was royally betrayed by a loved one. At one point I felt like I was losing my mind.

I hit my lowest point about two weeks ago, when I was betrayed by a family member who I always thought was like a sister to me. For one flash of a second I felt like I could barely go on with my life anymore, that I was at my cracking point. And then after hours and days of crying, I finally accepted that I had hit rock bottom in my life and that things couldn’t get much worse. And then for some reason I began to feel a strange sense of peace.

I can’t control all of the dysfunctional people in my life lately. I can’t control that I had to pack up and move two months ago and now I might have to pack up and move again. I can’t control that my close friends haven’t even bothered to call me when they knew that I had a major crisis in my life. I can’t control that people have used me and taken advantage of me. I really can’t control a lot of things.

There are a few things that I can control, however. I can control whether I eat healthy and go to bed at a reasonable hour, so that I can get my system back in gear. I can control how much I exercise each week so that I can kick the depression that I have been feeling lately. I can control when and for how long I talk about or see any of the dysfunctional people in my life.

I can continue to choose to be a helpless victim in the messed up situation that I was thrust into two months ago, or I can choose to take control of my life and focus on my physical and mental health. I choose to be healthy.

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