When You’re ‘Too Old’ For Pregnancy

by Queen Bee on 01/07/2013

I recently visited my doctor to talk about getting ready to plan for pregnancy, and I walked away from there scared shitless. I’m currently 36 years old and have quit a bit of weight to lose (i.e., over a 100 pounds, to be specific), but for the past six weeks I have been doing well with healthy eating and exercise, so I thought it would be a good time to have pre-pregnancy questions asked.

Slightly before I turned 35, my doctor told me that he thought that it would be preferable for me to get pregnant before losing all my weight. He told me that fertility decreases as women age (obviously) and that I can’t turn back the clock on my fertility, but I can manage any medical issues that are caused by being pregnant and overweight. At the time I wasn’t ready, so I didn’t listen.

I finally woke up one day and decided that I was ready to get pregnant soon, with or without the extra weight. I figured that I would work hard for six months to lose about fifty pounds and then I would get pregnant. Once I started losing weight over the past six weeks, I then decided to plan a couple of trips that I wanted to go on before pregnancy-one in January and another in April.

Last Friday when I discussed my plans for getting pregnant in April, my doctor began to express visible discontent with my decision. “You are going to be 37 years old,” he said, “and another four or five months can make a big difference in fertility. You need to start working on getting pregnant now, or you are going to have to spend tons of money on fertility treatment that your insurance won’t cover”. Wew, talk about pressure.

At the time it didn’t bother me too much, but all weekend I have started to get more and more stressed about waiting until April to get pregnant. I am beating myself up and kicking myself for focusing on my career for so long and not taking control of my weight before I turned 35. And I’m frustrated that now I feel like I might only be able to have one child, which was always the plan in the past- until my biological clock started ticking and I started dreaming about having two children. What if it is too late for me?

Three friends who all easily got pregnant at the age of 36 tell me not to worry about it. They have been reminding me that anyone can have fertility issues at any age and tons of women get pregnant at 35. They also remind me that fortunately due to over focusing on my career all those years that I am financially able to pay for fertility drugs or treatments if I have to. I do feel better, but that what if is still lingering.

The fact of the matter is that I am still not over my burnout and depression that I have had over work, and I just need a few extra months to try to get back into the groove before taking on a change as big as pregnancy. I am having a hard time with change-I’ve technically been moving out of my house for over a year and we’re finally settling on a date to move in over the next two months. I still haven’t been able to fully manage the stress that I have been feeling over work and am just not feeling very happy over my life lately. I want to make big changes in my life and it’s causing me to stress and panic. So I don’t want to jump right into pregnancy until I am feeling a little more stable.

I am going to continue working on my health and healthy habits. I need to continue to lose weight, exercise and eat better. I still haven’t mastered the discipline required to eat healthy. I need to train myself to sleep and rest. But I also know that there is never a “perfect time”, so I am going to jump right in and try to get pregnant in April whether I am completely ready or not. The next four months will be dedicated to getting ready for that day! Wish me luck!!

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

beri January 7, 2013 at 4:22 am

..you will find this new incredible strength when you meet your baby…..and the universe will support you….(i did this by myself..no man……and w/ a little help from my mom and dad….mostly moral support…)……you will take flight….


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